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Teg --

I just re-read your letter, and I feel like shit for not
acknowledging what's going on with you and Brook. I mean, not that I
can do anything about it. I've been just too wrapped up in my own
stuff to notice. One of my worse characteristics. I'm sorry.

Yes, boyfriends can be the worst, or best, depending on any factor you
can think of\dots{}and a few more. I would have thought that he would
have already processed to some degree the power/loss of- stuff playing
with you, before this (ie.~his freaking at the ``rape'' thing, being
pinned to your floor.) The chain of events seems not all cause/effect,
like there is some unknown subtext. My guess would be something in his
head, probably compounded by something in {\it yours}, no doubt, but
originating in his. I wish I could say something ``nice'' to make you
feel better or something, but you'd rightly take it as an insult!

Needless to say I'll consider this confidential.

Send me your and Brooks exact birth info, and I'll do a full
horror-scope for you. (Or just you, or anyone else you want.) I can't
print out graphic wheels yet, but I can do the whole chart with some
pretty pedestrian interpretations. I have this computer program you
see. I'll even do a compatibility chart. It would help if you knew
someone whose judgment you trust to re-interpret it, though you can
intuit it if you read between the fairly coarse, middle-class lines.

Anyways. Sorry also about the outburst of paranoia re:~the kid-sex
story. Oh well. Too much coffee and negative stimulation in my life.
(I'm typing this in the local caf\'e; I think I'll get a refill\dots)

You know\dots{} we have an empty room for the entire month of August,
unless we somehow find a sub-letter ASAP, which is not likely. If you
want to stay here the whole time, I think it would be OK. If more than
a week we'd probably ask for \$\$\$, to contribute to the house fund
(shit paper, dishwashing soap, water, etc). You could use the kitchen
and whatever and have a key. Fucking someone in the room is touchy,
only because of the stranger-in-the-house thing. (Fucking someone we
already know would be just fine.) If this is attractive to you (and
I'll ask Greta, Stacy if its OK with them, and I can't imagine them
objecting) it should be very workable.

Things with Josh are umm heating up. There is a very strong and overt
psychic connection. Simultaneous thoughts and suchlike. Sigh, we had
our first phone-sex this past Friday. I had been avoiding it only
because {\it I can't afford the phone bill!} Simultaneous orgasms are
almost second nature. This is a very weird relationship. I think I
like it. He's very tangled up with his roommate/best friend Dina.
It's actually a break-up. Josh is amazingly together and powerful.
Apparently when he was a kid he was very swishy and mistaken for a
girl a lot, much to his dismay. Now he's pretty butch in sissy way,
and in no way passive. We are very complementary (not complimentary). 

Deke -- I simply told him I was your source of information. I told him
how and why. I don't think he liked it but he begrudgingly realizes my
motive was simply because I cared and was looking for help, advice,
etc. I actually see less and less of him since then; he got his ass
canned from his \$12/hr barroom-cleanup job, only partly because he
was a complainer -- they fired 5 people at once. Well guess what. He's
been hanging out with the Wobblies, and they're doing a so-far
effective strike and picket. Instead of the usual union ``solidarity''
thing, ie.~trying to get people to not go into the bar (which has been
tried before and never works; gay bar/customer relations are anything
but normal!) they're doing informational-only pickets during club
nights, and pretty standard union solidarity stuff -- getting
deliveries stopped. Apparently the Teamsters recognize the Wobs as a
real union, and they've stopped some deliveries. The bar owner is
going nutso. Deke has been instrumental in keeping the olde-tyme Wobs
from trying to do the olde-tyme strike actions, and it seems to be
working. 

He's also kinda short-tempered lately. Deke's version of the
leftist-blinders thing. Only sees his own trip. It's a very righteous
one. Oh well. 

Today he's printed 100 \$3's, and I'm sure you'll get a copy ASAP.
Expect a rather\dots{} engaging review of BOS (so I'm told). Haven't
seem it yet.

Well life is biz-as-usual here in Fagville. I'm broke. Awaiting Josh
to move here -- in the next few months. Our house of six has four
roomies ``on the road'' -- Greta returns tomorrow after being gone
since May. Valerie and Dave on-tour (band: SPOKEPOKER). Mark moved
out. Diet Popstitute moving in Sept.~1 (hence the spare room for
Aug.) I am hanging out with Diet more and more. We are very close in
some ways. I like him more and more. You and he have polar-opposite
styles of operation, in some ways. He has an excellent
bullshit-detector also. I look forward to seeing him live in our house.

We have this knack for turning straight boys bent. Val's
ex-boyfriend, a band member, Mark, out last hold-out straight male,
just got a boyfriend. Now, Dapper Dave, one of Greta's subs, a skater
dude, is a complete closet case. He's the butchest flamer I've seen in
a long time. He has straight-boy boyfriends he pines over and
everything. We are quite sure none of them consummate their passions.
Too bad. You'll meet him. Never reveal I said this, he's not at that
point -- yet.

If you haven't been here before, keep in mind Mark Twain's ``The
coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.'' It's
warm during the day, but sometimes cold at night. The temp always
plunges at night regardless. Be warned. 

Well laundry is probably done, and the batteries on this new-fangled
computer are only good for two hours.

Will see you when you get here I guess. I again apologize for not
responding to your letter before (don't go on about obligations and
all that, it ain't a guilt thing).

Peace through firepower, (to quote a HOMOCORE reader)




\bye
