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\dropcap{D}earest BlaB: Long time no etc. Just read your Rant (of the
highest possible order) that'll run, apparently, in the queer issue of
MRR. Courtesy Matt Smith aka Matt Shred. It's completely trashy,
personal, brilliant and right-spot-on. He dropped by yesterday and we
had a nice chat.

The enclosed zine is discussed below. First, some background\dots

\dropcap{S}PEW. What a joke. It was a horrid event. {\it I} however
had a good time, though it had {\it nothing} to do with spew-folk. I
am guessing you had a similar experience. Vag is completely amazing!
She scared me, actually, in an odd sort of way, I was more or less
speechless in her presence. 

A variation on a familiar theme for you: it was implied that because
we (you \& I) didn't ``hang out'' (you know, us famous zinesters, the
new true Gay Literati, etc) there must be something bad between us.
The whole idiotic mindset I don't need to elaborate on.

Sigh. I {\it hate} this shit. I usually simply ignore it.

Another slight digression (to be resolved shortly) -- at some point
last summer, I too got a little tired of this BIMBOX crap. Right from
the start, it seemed sort of odd. Now you may think I'm slow, but I
really am not well connected to this zine stuff. Also I try to take a
long view regarding peoples' behavior: people choose between the
symbols/choices they {\it think} they have; some few later realize
they can create, or at least mix'n'match, symbols. But that's another
story.

I too realize the power of negative publicity. Deke and I have also
been getting tired of the righteousness\footnote*{
Oh how I hate righteousness. It is the first and most
serious symptom of the ill-behaved, uncivilized shits that call
themselves ``radicals''. Jeremy Piper (HIGH SCHOOL FAG), Robert Brown
(PUNK PALS), as examples, are lonely, even angry, but {\it never}
righteous. As you are certainly aware.} 
that BIMBOX seems to be crystallizing before us. (It's hardly unique.)
Arguing with them in their context is {\it a.} letting them define the
argument and {\it b.} giving them credit and fame. 

\dropcap{S}o we came up with this idea, enclosed for your viewing
pleasure. I have to admit, we're quite proud of it. Deke did the awful
slogans and graphics, and I did the text. It was an {\it excruciating}
experience to write. After very nearly every sentence, I had to stop
to howl with laughter, or to retch. At the risk of bragging, I think
it's hot. We carefully mixed blatant idiocy with subtlety. We stole
things in the most callous and embarrassing manner (ie.~JDs pix);
indulged in self-homophobic (editorial and BIMBOX review) 
and self-righteous (out-of-context quotes and the other reviews)
absurdities; and, best of all, blatantly claimed that BIMBOX stole our
ideas. We threw in random potshots (the weakest part of the whole
thing) in dim-witted JDs flattery/insult, a far-too-weak criticism of
HOMOCORE, and the almost-gives-it-away title. Plus a polite dig at my
ex-, Michael Grutchfield aka Pope George Ringo 3.

There are little things that compromise it, but I don't think it will
matter much in the end. Though we've leaked it intentionally to
obscure its origins (which will hopefully at least delay discovery),
since we didn't attack them outright, they only get a sort of
embarrassing publicity-by-comparison, hopefully like running into the
dreaded ex-trick who tries ingratiate himself in front of your
friends, reminding you of a relationship you'd rather be forgotten. At
best, they may have to defend themselves against it, which would be
letting {\it us} define the playing field\dots

It also leaves them an ``out'', and, upon discovery of the true
authors, makes an attack by them on us look even more trivially
retaliatory, because it's not actually overtly mean.

Or, at least this is how we {\it hope} it all goes.

\dropcap{S}o, I wanted you to know we still love you, and care, and at
at least in some areas, are still heading in more or less the same
direction, large-scale wise.

Anyhoo, thought I'd send ENOUGH ROPE along with a note. (By the way,
please don't tell anyone {\it where} you got it.) I tried to edit this
into sensibility, but I frustratingly failed. I am working 10 hrs/day,
contract job, and I'm frazzled, this up-early/home-late shit sucks and
I'm running on caffeine right now. So much for measured words.

Deke and Matt say ``hi''. Truly. Enjoy, get laid early and often, and
don't let the shits get you down. 


\dropcap{M}ore random SPEW notes: did you get to meet Teg, from BUNDLE
OF STICKS? He's totally great. His bullshit detector is in perfect
working order. Completely trustworthy in any way I can think of.

When we (the Shred gang; me, Greta, Deke, Clay) showed up, at first
they were {\it delighted} that the HOMOCORE people were going to be
there. It was great fun to see their faces drop when we dropped in. I
think they were expecting stylish mohawks (not too big of course)
proper attire (tribal tattoos, Docs) and pierced-nose in the air. My
my were they disappointed. The best arrival we could have had. I
purposely left my leather jacket at home, and wore my 
best repressed-mall-rat boy drag all weekend.

I was though surprised by the number of dollars they tried to squeeze
from us. (I found out from a LA resident later that LACE is by our
standards rich; those people whose work was hanging there? They are
{\it paid} for it. They have numerous sugar-daddies.) They way they
commodified us (all), they should have paid {\it us}. I don't think we
(Greta, Deke, Clay) paid for anything. At the film showing, Greta
simply made up a huge comp list, and brazenly waved us in, as we
walked by talking loudly. We were {\it rude} and they couldn't bring
themselves to be {\it rude} back. Their loss. We each did similar
things at different times. 

Now I may be spoiled by San Fagsicko, or maybe simply my smug small
town attitude, but I was amazed at how we were left to fend for
ourselves, for simple things like where to eat. The one thing I will
say in their defense is, I think they have all been living in that war
zone for so long, they forget there is a war on. And that it's not
necessary to live like that. Oh well. 


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\line{Your admirer\leaderfill Tom}

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PS: I hope you aren't mad at me for calling my zine HOMOCORE. If I had
known what was going to happen\dots{} but I do, and did, tell people
all the time, as little as they want to remember, what its origin is.
And I was pleased to see the word used recently in its lower case,
original meaning. Anyways the zine is a pretty corpse. 

I was going to say, ``and it never {\it did} get me laid'', but it did
-- at SPEW! Not sure if you remember that boy I was obsessed with that
Sat.~afternoon, at the zine table. The rather cute but otherwise
ordinary-looking fag-punk boy. Turns out, he's not quite what he
seems. He's not very hardcore (neither am I) or even pretentious in
that direction. He actually thinks about what he's doing, works with
crazy people, and is actually rather annoyed with the self-imposed
factions also. To make a long, dull story short, I will go visit him
in Seattle in May. His name is Michael. Lives in the Pacific
NorthWest. Sigh. Is two in a row a pattern (fnord)?


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