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\twelvepointroman
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\dropcap{D}earest Michael -- Here it is Sunday night, last I recall it¨
was 2 in the afternoon, now I have to go to bed and get up for work.¨
That's what happens when you go near a computer. Only one more week of¨
this stupid job. Then the money/time equation reverses.

Are you still having nightmares? (You said you're not sleeping much or¨
well.) I wish there was something I could do, and everything I can¨
think of to say sounds stupid. But I wish I could do something¨
anyways.

I miss you a whole fuckload. Wahhh!

\dropcap{W}ell fuck, don't worry too much about not being able to do¨
all the things you want to do. Who can?! At least you {\it have}¨
things you want to do! So many people seem aimless to me\dots If¨
you've got goals bigger than you can figure out how to do, well, while¨
you're thinking about how to, work on the stuff you can and like to do¨
in the mean time. If you're doing things you think are constructive,¨
even if they are not directly in line, you're headed in the right¨
direction. Visualize the thing(s) you want, clearly, or at least work¨
on the clarity (which is half the work!). ``Am I on the right path''¨
is really the day to day question\dots The process {\it} the goal.

Deke has a {\it boyfriend}. I don't get it. Never before has he so¨
much as uttered the word, but what he has one. And for a week, before¨
telling me. Steve. An odd puppy (big surprise, huh). Not unpleasantly¨
so. I think he is jealous of Deke and I. (I thought about: am I¨
jealous of Steve? No is my answer. I truly like my relationship with¨
Deke, and it could (have) include(d) sex if I/we wanted.) Deke and I¨
can talk in code and understand each other. (He commented on that.) It¨
looks to me like they have good sex (I don't know why) (why I think¨
that, that is).

I feel an obscurantist mood coming on. It is leaking through into my¨
wreetings. Sorry bout that.

I wish I could: take your clothes off. Pull your dick. Rub soap into¨
your hair. Wrap my arms around you from behind naked and fall asleep¨
with you. Dress you up like a little boy and tickle you. Make you¨
drink lots of coffee and watch you grow restless.

In the mean time (mean?) (I guess it is) in the mean time I'll just¨
wait.

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\line{Love\leaderfill Tom}





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