\input tex
\schoolboy
Dad --

Talked to Anne two weeks ago. Apparently her kid is due ``real soon¨
now''. I haven't got her or the kid anything yet. Shit.

She told me about the visit with your mother and her calling Anne¨
``Pam'' and all that. Anne was amused. She told me at first she was¨
confused with your reaction, but figured out the story pretty quick.¨
(She's not mad at you at all.) Wierd! Glad I wasn't there.

I've made moving plans -- to Albuquerque NM this May. Got back this¨
week from scouting. I've got a busy work sched Feb, Mar, Apr; all¨
radio station builds or rebuilds. It means a big burst of money, plus¨
studio-build jobs is a powerful reference for future work. The move¨
date may vary depending on this radio stuff.

About visiting me -- 

Look -- your mother could live a week or 20 years. (My friend Joey sez¨
his evil grandmother lived to be 104!) I can only imagine the ties you¨
and her have, but I think you should come here in spite of the fear,¨
instead of waiting for it to go away. It won't. You have to go through¨
it, now or later. Even if she up and dies the minute you leave¨
Mass.~(not bloody fucking likely) it's not your responsibility.

I don't know what you think is here. In spite of it's reputation, San¨
Francisco is a small town. The ``radical'' stuff doesn't require¨
participation. There's lots of gay bars of all kinds and that sort of¨
obvious stuff. There's also all kinds of more formal gay groups --¨
including gay parents, with and/or without gay kids. If you care for¨
such things. 

It is perfectly acceptable to identify yourself any damn way you¨
please. It was very '70's to militantly demand straight vs.~gay¨
identification. No one cares anymore (except as it pertains to¨
possible dates\dots) and as a matter fact, ambiguity seems to be all¨
the rage right now anyways. 

But you will find the most useful resources will be gay-identified,¨
simply because gay people are doing all the hard work. Things that¨
identify as ``straight'' usually carry all the old stupid prejudices¨
like so much mystical baggage. Good riddance, I say.

Besides, in spite of probably thinking all of this as a terrible¨
liability, I can tell you it's very high status for me to have a gay¨
father (and vice versa).

If you're gonna visit me, it has to be before I move to Albuquerque.¨
All the useful resources are here. Besides, it's 1500 miles from¨
So.~Cal. 

I won't push you anymore. I'm afraid you'll simply have to do the¨
classic ``coming out'' process, even if it's just for yourself, and¨
you never tell anyone out there. At whatever speed or depth you¨
desire. Believe me, the relief alone is worth it, and believe me, it's¨
one of those things like gaining back lost sight or something that you¨
can't know until you do it (sounds religious or something, oh well). 

\vskip\parskip
\centerline{Tom}

PS: Don't overlook the fact your car can get you laid probably as¨
often as you want.

\bye